Blog Reviews
Kinokuniya |
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At Kinokuniya, we have a spot on the BestSellers Shelf as of 27th February 2013.
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Email Reviews
I really, really, enjoyed your book. You...
(1) Took the science and made it human;
(2) Generously shared with us glimpses of your family life;
(3) Inspired us because you not only stated the ideals but dealt with the challenge
(4) Blessed us with your talents for both psychology and writing.
I have seen first- hand self-motivation bursting forth like a Spring Eternal in DD from her having experienced Difficult Victories and yes, I am guilty of having staged some for DD so she could at first almost fail, but then later succeed on her own “perspiration”. Some chapters sat with me like a comforting, well-worn coat [ “Focus on Study Process and not grades”, Emotional Connection ] while others were revelations [Specify-Magnify, Physical Movement ] making me say - “ Now why didn’t I ever think of that!”; I have indeed been edified by your writings.
I have been fumbling through a lot of this part of parenting in recent years [the motivational aspects] as (a) I found out late in the day the rules of the PSLE game [ it is NOT a test of ability but a Test to see how far you are away from the smartest P6 kid in Singapore] and (b) time was not on my side as I struggled to be tutor, mother, lawyer, business woman and wife all at the same time from 2009 till 2011.
I have been Mother Medusa many more times than I care to admit [unfortunately mostly spontaneous and far less often as a focused strategy] and yes, absolutely, positive motivation is by far a more loving and biblically aligned strategy than being Tiger Mum.
I am taking out my highlighter and post it flags next ,as I go through your book once again to decide what strategies I can use to continue motivating my by-now teens. This book has earned its place on my small (and therefore very exclusive) book shelf. Thank you so much Petunia for having made all the effort to bring this book into fruition.
From one Mummy to another, a heartfelt thank you and God Bless!
PSLE2011Mum (she can be reached by Private Message on Kiasuparents Forum)
(1) Took the science and made it human;
(2) Generously shared with us glimpses of your family life;
(3) Inspired us because you not only stated the ideals but dealt with the challenge
(4) Blessed us with your talents for both psychology and writing.
I have seen first- hand self-motivation bursting forth like a Spring Eternal in DD from her having experienced Difficult Victories and yes, I am guilty of having staged some for DD so she could at first almost fail, but then later succeed on her own “perspiration”. Some chapters sat with me like a comforting, well-worn coat [ “Focus on Study Process and not grades”, Emotional Connection ] while others were revelations [Specify-Magnify, Physical Movement ] making me say - “ Now why didn’t I ever think of that!”; I have indeed been edified by your writings.
I have been fumbling through a lot of this part of parenting in recent years [the motivational aspects] as (a) I found out late in the day the rules of the PSLE game [ it is NOT a test of ability but a Test to see how far you are away from the smartest P6 kid in Singapore] and (b) time was not on my side as I struggled to be tutor, mother, lawyer, business woman and wife all at the same time from 2009 till 2011.
I have been Mother Medusa many more times than I care to admit [unfortunately mostly spontaneous and far less often as a focused strategy] and yes, absolutely, positive motivation is by far a more loving and biblically aligned strategy than being Tiger Mum.
I am taking out my highlighter and post it flags next ,as I go through your book once again to decide what strategies I can use to continue motivating my by-now teens. This book has earned its place on my small (and therefore very exclusive) book shelf. Thank you so much Petunia for having made all the effort to bring this book into fruition.
From one Mummy to another, a heartfelt thank you and God Bless!
PSLE2011Mum (she can be reached by Private Message on Kiasuparents Forum)
Thoroughly enjoyable! It's quite an easy read and concepts are clear. Agree with you in the last chapter. We really have to apply it with careful judgment with each different child. I'm chewing on it slowly 2nd time, making notes and seeking God's wisdom to help me to discern and apply them appropriately.
Rosetta Fung
Rosetta Fung
I'm really glad I bought it. It's very informative, heart-felt and easy to read. I'm going to try to put the strategies in place slowly. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your experiences with us. Hope the book sells really well! I'm going to tell my friends about it. Btw, a number of the principles echoed what my pastor preached on how the bible says we should bring up our children. So, that's additional confirmation that you are in good company! :)
Bernice Khoo
Bernice Khoo
I received the book yesterday night and IT WAS A WONDERFUL read!!! I'm only at chapter 3, as there is a lot of good stuff inside that you would want to savour slowly. The words are simple, but the ideas, profound. Chen has taken great pains to put in layman-speak what it took eminent psychologists years to figure out. I see my own situation reflected in a number of the anecdotes in the book. I think this book is a great starting point for turning my relationship with DS1 around. So, if anyone is reading this post and wants resources to deal with their kids, do consider checking out Chen's website and the book!
Hokkiengirl
(source: http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=798211#p798211)
Hokkiengirl
(source: http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=798211#p798211)
Congratulations Chen on your book!! Received it in the mail this evening and I LIKE!!! It's reader friendly and with none of the new fangled corporate speak. You write it as it is and I feel as if I am getting advice from a friend. Thanks for sharing your experiences and penning down your thoughts. There were a couple laugh out loud moments... love your sense of wicked wit and humor. Confirmed best seller, liao.
Schweppes
(source: http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=797800#p797800 )
Schweppes
(source: http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=797800#p797800 )
Your bk has gripped me. Read a lot last night n wanted to fast forward by reading ahead here n there. It's v well written n planned out. I agree tt process to maturity and eventually internally driven kid is more impt than results the result which shld turn out better eventually.
Karen Yeo
Karen Yeo
Truth be told, I am only at the 3rd or 4th chapter of the book. I find it very useful and the advice and instructions are clearly written. It's a great book! I usually read fiction in a flash, but for books like yours, I think it's best that I digest and internalise what you've suggested, and practice them one at a time so it doesn't overwhelm me and I assimilate the strategies into my parenting style. I have started providing constructive options! :) And I am currently working very hard on concentrating on the process rather than letting my emotions hinder the learning journey with XXXXXXXX.
Eunice Tan
Eunice Tan
Hi… the book is great. I'm reading it the second time to try to internalize the concepts u have introduced. It really takes a lot of patience and effort for working mum especially since we do not have the luxury of time with them.
Celine Yeo
Celine Yeo
3/4 past reading the book. Very interesting, but still wondering how to go about implementing some of the tactics for my boys. Need a bit of digesting. I planned to read it once over. Then go through it again to plan on how to go about doing it.
Shirley Wong
Shirley Wong
It's a great read! Am currently on Chapter 9, and I realised that there are so many wrongs' I've been doing, like constantly checking their homework, packing their back etc since they are in P1. I now know why my boy rely so much on me to remind him to do his homework, what to study etc -- I trained him to rely on me! :( My girl is less reliant, but still needs reminders to learn spelling and so on. But I'm glad that I still have the emotional connection you've mentioned. :) That mean's there's still hope right? A really wonderful book.
Cynthia Hia
Cynthia Hia
I am practicing some of your tips now, like getting my son to plan his timetable. Small step at a time. And I strongly agree with you that we should look at process and not end results. However, this is something that I am still imperfect at. I am a full time working mother, and elder son is in p3 this year while younger girl is k2. We are Methodist and that explain why I am strongly drawn to your blog as your advise are very God minded. As for the book, I am reading it slowly as I an trying to digest it slowly...
Anyway, I have also wrapped the book and ready to keep it and use it as my parenting reference book for handling myself (my attitude towards my kids academic) and my kids in the years ahead. Having say that, I would not know to what extent I will apply everything but the pointers are indeed very logical and in fact any working parent will understand it well in their business management world.
Now waiting eagerly for the potato Chinese package.
P.S. my friend had oso ordered via your blog last week and pay through Internet. May God use this book to bless the parents and their children by refining their relationships through the study process!
P. Leow
Anyway, I have also wrapped the book and ready to keep it and use it as my parenting reference book for handling myself (my attitude towards my kids academic) and my kids in the years ahead. Having say that, I would not know to what extent I will apply everything but the pointers are indeed very logical and in fact any working parent will understand it well in their business management world.
Now waiting eagerly for the potato Chinese package.
P.S. my friend had oso ordered via your blog last week and pay through Internet. May God use this book to bless the parents and their children by refining their relationships through the study process!
P. Leow
I like the rubrics for the Composition writing best as it details for the child specifics on how to improve in writing instead of the usual content and language marks. I enjoy reading your reflections after you met with an obstacle - like how you helped your daughter to overcome being labelled `not mathematically inclined' and leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy; and how you have ingenuously got hold of resources from China and guiding your son to understand the need to memorise to expand his vocabulary and enhance his confidence in the second language.
You have indeed taught your children how to fish instead of giving them the fish, and I am sure they will turn out to be very successful in life - not just academic but living the values of perseverance and the `can do' attitude. I cannot remember the theories backing your strategies but remember with fondness your stories - the oral tradition is much more appealing to me...Thanks for sharing so candidly and on such a personal note.
I have enjoyed reading the book - in 1 sitting. GREAT JOB. Do give yourself several pats on your shoulder.
S.L. Tay
You have indeed taught your children how to fish instead of giving them the fish, and I am sure they will turn out to be very successful in life - not just academic but living the values of perseverance and the `can do' attitude. I cannot remember the theories backing your strategies but remember with fondness your stories - the oral tradition is much more appealing to me...Thanks for sharing so candidly and on such a personal note.
I have enjoyed reading the book - in 1 sitting. GREAT JOB. Do give yourself several pats on your shoulder.
S.L. Tay
Received the book last Thurs, i think.
I stayed up 2 nights last weekend, starting from 11pm till abt 1plus am... it was addictive!! DD1 say mummy is crazy over her new toy.. Ha ha
Stopped @ Chapt 6... I must say the content does trigger much thought process. Some ideas / theories really need a re-read to better grasp the concept. In fact, some pages, i had to go thru it a 2nd time to really understand and see how it is applicable to me. Was telling my hubby that this book needs to be read through once, then followed by at least a 2nd time before the concepts can be more (not even fully yet) appreciated. This just goes to show my shallow level of the language :P
Your sharing on the application of the techniques on your kids, really help illustrate well the concepts. It provoked me to think through what i hv been doing and how / whether i could hv done it differently. In fact, i hv started to make some changes this week. I used to print out a timetable on the stuff to be done for the week. My gals will follow / try to complete according to the timetable. This week, i decided to use your method and provided a blank timetable for me and my gals to fill together. DD1 was v happy to b able to come up with her own schedule. We just completed it last night. Let's see if it works for her to own it n finish the tasks on her own. Will try to get DD2 to do the timetable tonight. A bit more apprehensive here cos she is afterall just P1. She also does not like to make decisions, always asking me to choose for her. So i m also trying to use this to help her think thru and guide her in her decision making process.
Aim to go through the other half of the book this weekend. Once i m through with the 1st pass, will share more feedback. If you dont mind, appreciate your pointers :)
Oh yes, pls convey my praises to your gal that she can illustrate really well :) My gals also find the "big head" fellows veri cute :)
Been following your blog as well. Little Boy seem well on track for his PSLE :) Keep going :)
Pei Ling
I stayed up 2 nights last weekend, starting from 11pm till abt 1plus am... it was addictive!! DD1 say mummy is crazy over her new toy.. Ha ha
Stopped @ Chapt 6... I must say the content does trigger much thought process. Some ideas / theories really need a re-read to better grasp the concept. In fact, some pages, i had to go thru it a 2nd time to really understand and see how it is applicable to me. Was telling my hubby that this book needs to be read through once, then followed by at least a 2nd time before the concepts can be more (not even fully yet) appreciated. This just goes to show my shallow level of the language :P
Your sharing on the application of the techniques on your kids, really help illustrate well the concepts. It provoked me to think through what i hv been doing and how / whether i could hv done it differently. In fact, i hv started to make some changes this week. I used to print out a timetable on the stuff to be done for the week. My gals will follow / try to complete according to the timetable. This week, i decided to use your method and provided a blank timetable for me and my gals to fill together. DD1 was v happy to b able to come up with her own schedule. We just completed it last night. Let's see if it works for her to own it n finish the tasks on her own. Will try to get DD2 to do the timetable tonight. A bit more apprehensive here cos she is afterall just P1. She also does not like to make decisions, always asking me to choose for her. So i m also trying to use this to help her think thru and guide her in her decision making process.
Aim to go through the other half of the book this weekend. Once i m through with the 1st pass, will share more feedback. If you dont mind, appreciate your pointers :)
Oh yes, pls convey my praises to your gal that she can illustrate really well :) My gals also find the "big head" fellows veri cute :)
Been following your blog as well. Little Boy seem well on track for his PSLE :) Keep going :)
Pei Ling
Thank you so much for the amazing book! It is very reader-friendly and informative...
I'm taking my time to slowly digesting the many nuggets of truth in your book and re-reading some chapters so that I can fully comprehend and apply them. The "structured choices" chapter is very helpful. I attempted to provide choices to my son in the past but we always ended up in a power-struggle. He would always choose "not doing anything" or "none of the choices that I offered". I could see clearly where I had missed it as I read this chapter. I twitched the options as you suggested in the book and I found him a lot more more receptive. The other area that I struggle with is behavior reinforcement. I've been re-reading chapter 7 - RIVR and RIVP for the past few days.... I know it will be very helpful if I can implement these strategies as you have suggested.
Your book is definitely a great blessing to many!
Jaslyn
I'm taking my time to slowly digesting the many nuggets of truth in your book and re-reading some chapters so that I can fully comprehend and apply them. The "structured choices" chapter is very helpful. I attempted to provide choices to my son in the past but we always ended up in a power-struggle. He would always choose "not doing anything" or "none of the choices that I offered". I could see clearly where I had missed it as I read this chapter. I twitched the options as you suggested in the book and I found him a lot more more receptive. The other area that I struggle with is behavior reinforcement. I've been re-reading chapter 7 - RIVR and RIVP for the past few days.... I know it will be very helpful if I can implement these strategies as you have suggested.
Your book is definitely a great blessing to many!
Jaslyn
Thank you for writing. I have truly enjoyed reading your book and have learnt many interesting tips about motivating children! I am thrilled that my kids and I are benefitting from various practices that I put in place after being inspired by your wise words :) Thank you for writing the book and helping clueless parents like me!
Chay Hoon
Chay Hoon
It is great. I can identify with the many anecdotes that you provided especially those real life encounters and experiences with your Little Boy. Your Little Boy writes beatifully...
My DS is in primary one and was indentified as being weak in english and put on the LSP programme. I was not aware that he could be weak as we had send him to phonics class etc. But i was very glad now that he recently starts to enjoy the Geronimo Stilton series of books and we have got some handover from my niece and my DS was overjoyed.
I am noting down your various strategies and you are very specific in giving examples and hence at least i can relate and use it to suit me. To be honest, sometimes we know the way but do not have the discipline to see through and we constantly need reminders that it is so important to see through and be consistent if we want to see results.
Thanks very much for the book as it is very practical and we parents can identify as it based on local context. When i read in the Kiasu forum how some parents lament taht their child starts to fall behind in Pri 3 & 4 and becomes unmotivated i also worry about my own child although he is only P1. I still have another 2 younger children so if i can set the routine / method correct for DS 1 , it should be easier for me and them when it is DS2 and DD turn at primary school.
I have just finished the RIVP chapter and i have start to try to implement structured choices for him. Thanks once again and I will recommend the book to my friends too. Thanks also for the follow up email : )
Mui Hong
My DS is in primary one and was indentified as being weak in english and put on the LSP programme. I was not aware that he could be weak as we had send him to phonics class etc. But i was very glad now that he recently starts to enjoy the Geronimo Stilton series of books and we have got some handover from my niece and my DS was overjoyed.
I am noting down your various strategies and you are very specific in giving examples and hence at least i can relate and use it to suit me. To be honest, sometimes we know the way but do not have the discipline to see through and we constantly need reminders that it is so important to see through and be consistent if we want to see results.
Thanks very much for the book as it is very practical and we parents can identify as it based on local context. When i read in the Kiasu forum how some parents lament taht their child starts to fall behind in Pri 3 & 4 and becomes unmotivated i also worry about my own child although he is only P1. I still have another 2 younger children so if i can set the routine / method correct for DS 1 , it should be easier for me and them when it is DS2 and DD turn at primary school.
I have just finished the RIVP chapter and i have start to try to implement structured choices for him. Thanks once again and I will recommend the book to my friends too. Thanks also for the follow up email : )
Mui Hong
Half way through and have already learnt heaps from you …. really love your writing style, easy to read and absorbed . I am a great fan of your blog and also love reading your contributions in kiasuparents.
Angeline Quek
Angeline Quek
I'm sorry for the radio silence. I wasn't in when the mailman delivered the books. And it took me 2 days before I collected the books from the post office. However, your book is written so well that I finished the book in 2 nights. I took a quick browse at the post office and had to force myself to close the book so that I could leave the place.
I like that your book is written simply. It is in the same style as your blog. The book and your blog are very easy to read.
I like that there are examples given shortly after a theory part is written. Just when my eyes are about to glaze over by technical details, an example is told that grabs my attention again and makes me understand how it is used in real life. I love the book. If you write another, I will definitely buy it.
I'm sorry I didn't write earlier. I wasn't sure if I should or not. Your book is my new guidebook. I hope to motivate my daughter like how you motivated your kids. I'm not sure how successful I will be but I'm very glad to have your book as my guide. To me, your book is like a magic key to academic distinctions and I feel like keeping it a secret. But when I mention it to other people, some go "oh, need so much effort" or their eyes glaze over. So I guess I don't need to keep it a secret. Not good news for your book sales but I think I'm probably not explaining it well enough. Haha. Sorry.
I had originally ordered a book. But u confirmed 2 with me. So I asked a friend who also reads your blog if she wanted the other book. She too finished the book in 2 nights and really loves your book. So don't worry. Your book is a winner!!! I'm definitely not a good sales promoter. Hahah.
Amanda
I like that your book is written simply. It is in the same style as your blog. The book and your blog are very easy to read.
I like that there are examples given shortly after a theory part is written. Just when my eyes are about to glaze over by technical details, an example is told that grabs my attention again and makes me understand how it is used in real life. I love the book. If you write another, I will definitely buy it.
I'm sorry I didn't write earlier. I wasn't sure if I should or not. Your book is my new guidebook. I hope to motivate my daughter like how you motivated your kids. I'm not sure how successful I will be but I'm very glad to have your book as my guide. To me, your book is like a magic key to academic distinctions and I feel like keeping it a secret. But when I mention it to other people, some go "oh, need so much effort" or their eyes glaze over. So I guess I don't need to keep it a secret. Not good news for your book sales but I think I'm probably not explaining it well enough. Haha. Sorry.
I had originally ordered a book. But u confirmed 2 with me. So I asked a friend who also reads your blog if she wanted the other book. She too finished the book in 2 nights and really loves your book. So don't worry. Your book is a winner!!! I'm definitely not a good sales promoter. Hahah.
Amanda
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